Intention: It is no secret that the power of intention is critical to manifesting what we would like to have in our lives. The complication for most of us is that we focus our intention on things that are outside of us such as the new car, the new relationship, or the trip to Bali. Since most of the time we are not coming from a place of pure intention, those things outside of us seldom manifest. Move inward and get closer to your truth. For example, rather than asking to win the lottery, ask to be brought into a state of mind where you believe that you are already in abundance. You have to believe that you deserve abundance in order to receive it. By creating intention around the higher, more transcended states of awareness, we often find that the ‘winning’ lottery ticket has been there all along. Our expectations just got in the way. How do you ‘know’ when you are in your truth? You are not manipulating or controlling outcome, but rather trusting that you are supported. In this new paradigm of reality, intention must originate in a pure-hearted place that is not distorted by guilt or ego. Resolve to make conscious any/all transcended states of awareness such as compassion, equality, forgiveness, unconditional love, patience, harmony, impeccability, discernment, clarity, detachment, acceptance, trust, surrender, generosity and gratitude to name a few.

Breathing Room: We all have ‘to-do’ lists and deadline, for the most part self-imposed. My ‘to-do’ lists used to be legendary. I was a taskmaster of heroic proportion. Worthiness=Completion. The only problem was that again the completion was outside of me rather than within. In the last year or so I have decided to redefine completion. I am doing less and trusting more. I am giving myself breathing room. I am coming into balance between my inner and outer worlds. We can’t live our lives from rote memory. Breathing room is just that, room to breath. Don’t constrain yourself to the point that you are not able to be in the flow of life. Don’t limit your perceptual awareness to past experiences. Breathing room means that you don’t have to say, “yes” just to feel worthy. You can feel worthy saying “no” just as easily. My good friend and life coach, Stacy McKenna gave me a great idea for my ‘to-do’ list when she told me to give some of my ‘to-dos’ to the Universe. What I find happening since I adopted this new technique is that I don’t even have to write things down. I just ask the Universe to support me in these things as they come to me and whatever is relevant for me always comes back. I believe this is the new “modus operandi” for 2012. Allow spirit and your intuition to guide you day in and day out. The indigenous tribes have been doing this for thousands of years. When you get really quiet, you can hear, “Don’t forget to pick up dinner, call your father, meditation, feed the birds…” When you get really centered, you connect. That person you were thinking of calling, calls you. Someone steps in to help you with a problem unsolicited. You wake up a 2am and you just know it is time to write that blog. Resolve to be in the flow of divine timing and trust that you are complete in each and every moment. Resolve to give yourself breathing room so that you can feel the answers rather than creating them. Forgive yourself for your perceived failures.

Neutral Witness: Relationships will be our single greatest challenge in 2012. The challenge will be to understand that we can learn from every interaction, no matter how brief or how painful the encounter. Relationships are always a gift. Often the most painful experiences show us our most profound lessons. We suppress many of the emotions that we are not able to deal with on a daily basis in our unconscious minds. Sometimes these patterns are buried so deep within us that we project them on to others. So how do we ascertain what is relevant for us? At this stage of the game, pretty much everything is relevant. Just remember the golden rule. It is never about the other person. That is not to say that there are not lessons for both parties to learn. What is important however is learning our lessons, not teaching others theirs. When we stop defending our position, others get very clear, very quickly as to what they need to own. Adopting the neutral witness by detaching ourselves from the emotions of our stories and moving into a balanced state of awareness is the fastest way to learn. Don’t beat yourself up if things don’t work out perfectly. Just remember to process your feelings afterwards. Resolve to listen whole-heartedly, speak only with pure intention, learn to separate your truths from your stories and last but not least acknowledge that there are no failed relationships, just mutual opportunities to expand on our spiritual paths.

Wishing everyone a joy-filled and peace-full journey in 2012.

In 1940 Carson McCuller wrote The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, the story of “five isolated, lonely people in their search for expression and spiritual integration with something greater than themselves.” McCuller’s work was considered to be one of the best novels of her time as she gives voice to the rejected, forgotten, mistreated and oppressed of our society.  As one reads this novel, there can be no question that McCuller at the age of 23 was tapping into something much greater than herself. I am reminded of this novel as I examine my own journey toward the healing of my own heart.  As I descend inward into a place of self-realization and discovery, I wonder how I can give voice to the rejected, forgotten, mistreated and oppressed parts of my own self.

Drunvalo Melchizedek says in his book Living in the Heart that “Entering the sacred space of the heart does not involve a learning process; for we have always been in this space, from the beginning. We have chosen to divert our attention to this way of polarity consciousness, but once we’ve learned the lesson, I feel certain that we will return to the primal state of oneness.”

I was born on August 8, 1957. My zodiac sign is Leo the lion. The symbol for Leo is represented by two valves of the human heart a part of the anatomy that Leo rules. Remarkably, it was not until recently that the synchronistic value of my astrological sign revealed itself to me.  Jean Shinoda Bolen writes that when we are at a significant junction of transition, outer events and meetings are often filled with messages that should be heeded. I have been on this journey long enough to at least take notice when events and messages start to converge in ways that can only be attributed to “Divine Intervention.”

“Is it possible, I asked myself, that I’m being summoned from some deep and holy place within?  Am I being asked to enter a new passage in the spiritual life-the journey from false self to true self? Am I being asked to dismantle old masks and patterns and unfold a deeper, more authentic self- the one God created me to be?  Am I being compelled to disturb my inner universe in quest of the undiscovered being who clamors within?” Sue Monk Kidd, When the Heart Waits.

Last December, I completed my yearly Soul Coaching Collage.  According to Denise Linn, creator of The Soul Coaching Collage®, the creation of this collage is an inner journey that allows your soul to speak to you.  Denise says that your soul’s voice can be heard through the images, feelings and insights that surface from creating this kind of collage.  The lower left section of the board is called “The House of Ancient Wisdom”.  This section relates to the universal ancient wisdom that dwells within you and is also closely related to the seeds that are being planted for the future.  On my collage in this corner I have featured a picture of a fractured heart, the words “ forgive and be free, erase insecurities and the heart of prayer.”  Above all of this is the following mantra: “I started to understand the interconnectedness and how all of us are here, on a soul level to learn love.  All of us has karma that has to be burned up and will play out in a variety of ways, again and again, until we take responsibility for our own experiences.”

I am a U.S. Wish® Facilitator (www.thewish8.com).  The Wish® is an amazing energy game that helps individuals release limited beliefs held from childhood conditioning that keep them from manifesting their wish. The wish also helps individuals see what is hidden from them in their subconscious minds in order to take responsibility for their own experiences.

On the middle of my Soul Coaching Collage® is a picture of a gold infinity symbol with a royal blue background. The infinity symbol is actually part of a flower that I synchronistically covered up with other pictures not realizing until later that I had created an infinity symbol in the process. The color and design are identical to a Wealth Card that was given to me by Louise Laffey, Creator of the Wish® the day that I met her. The Wealth Card speaks to the significance of being in abundance and in my view of being complete. Layered over the top of the infinity symbol are these words “There’s the thing you do for a living- and there’s the thing you were born to do. If your dream is to make them one in the same, you’ve come to the right place. Welcome to your brilliant future! The middle of the collage signifies your sense of self, your identity, your essence or core. It also shows you what is most important in your life right now. Nine months later, I understand. My soul is longing for me to return home to oneness and to remember the truth of who I am.

In January of 2011, I began a six-month course called The Spiritual Warrior, an online program designed to help me better my skills as a spiritual seeker. In February, I read an article written by the creator of The Spiritual Warrior program; Leslie Temple-Thurston called The Power of One. In this article, Leslie speaks about the exponential ripple effect created when a group of individuals comes together with intention centered on one idea or cause.  The next day after reading the article, I received what can best be described as a gestalt of information around an idea called Global Wish. A “gestalt” is an understanding of the whole of an idea in one sensory download.  I knew instantly that Global Wish® could be an important tool toward shifting consciousness on this planet.

As Global Wish evolved, Louise Laffey, creator of the Wish®, was guided to choose August 8, 2011 from 12noon to 2pm as the date and time we would initiate Global Wish™ around the world.  Louise did not know that this date was in fact my birthday, the month in which Leo the Lion, ruler of the heart is front and center on the zodiacal stage. We later decided that the wish that everyone would play for would be “I wish to live in the heart.”

The convergence of messages was beginning to feel like a 20 car pile up on the Major Deegan Expressway in the Bronx.

April 20, 2011- after sharing my thoughts on Global Wish™ with my friend Cindy McCarthy, she sent me an email with a copy of the Mayan Calendar created by world-renowned Mayan expert, Dr. Carl Calleman. It was an instant OMG moment.  From 12 noon on August 8 to 12 noon on August 9 the Mayans predicted a huge influx of energy coming on to the planet that they called  “Cosmic Resonance on a Global Scale.”

May 15, 2011- upon pondering the question “What is my life purpose?” my brilliantly intuitive 24-year old daughter tells me my purpose in life is to be complete.

August 5, 2011- I play the Wish®.  My wish is “I wish to gain clarity on how I can be more open-hearted.” I complete my game and head out for the day picking up my mail on the way out. In the mailbox is a birthday card and gift from my mother-in-law. Our journey together over the last 33 years has been a test of patience for us both. The card front and inside is covered with rainbow colored hearts.  The message is “May all the love you give away…return to fill your heart today.  The name of the card designer is It Takes Two.

August 6, 2011- I play the Wish®.  My wish is “I wish for financial freedom and to claim my inner authority.” As the game unfolds, I draw a block card.  “Are you head-butting a brick wall?  Ask another player for their opinion.”  When I am playing by myself I usually draw a card from one of my oracle card decks.  I was guided to draw from the Ascended Master deck by Doreen Virtue and pulled the Jesus card with the message of “Open your heart to love.”

August 7, 2011- On the eve of Global Wish™, my friends Annette and Tom at the Emergence Project (www.theemergenceproject.net) are hosting Dr. Carl Calleman in a teleconference and I am able to speak to him directly about the importance of Global Wish® He tells me that the single most important thing we can all do as we head toward 2012 is make a commitment to unity consciousness.

August 8 2011- 24 women arrive at my home to play the Global Wish™, “I wish to live in the heart.”  The loving energy in my home was so expansive that I could feel my heart ripping open.

August 9, 2011- I wake up feeling very emotional.  Seated at my desk, attempting to get some work done, I am guided to look over at my bookshelf where I see a book that my sister recently suggested I take from my mother’s library called Secrets of the Heart by Kahlil Gibran.  Over the last 53 years, my mother and I have had a difficult relationship to say the least. My mother currently is in a nursing home with dementia. Going through this devastating illness with her has allowed me to experience ”courage” of the heart in my mother that brings me to my knees. I open the book to find a bookmark with a baby bottle of pink hearts and a smiling kitten hanging over the top. The page contains a poetic offering of a story of sorrow and joy.  All of the painful experiences of my childhood come flooding in…but miraculously right behind those experiences flow the memories of the happier times before my heart became so heavy….  a way back in perhaps.

Next, I pull out my syllabus for my Spiritual Warrior program and the paper I am to read for the month of August is called Healing the Heart.

I then head out to my monthly Sacred Circle meeting, a gathering of my spiritual sisters.  We celebrate my birthday with food and presents.  One of my cards reads “Love who you are.”  One of my gifts is an aromatic bottle of lavender contained in a red box with a heart on the top and wrapped in white paper with little red hearts all over it. There is a message with the gift describing the properties of lavender:

August 10, 2011- I sit here completing this blog in a stupefied state of utter and complete surrender!

And as I answer the summons from within, as I begin to identify with my true authentic self, I understand for the first time in my life what my beautiful daughter Christen so eloquently tried to tell me so many months before.  My purpose in life is to be complete.  My purpose is to take responsibility for all of my emotions and to learn to love in the process. My purpose is to heal my broken heart through forgiveness and unconditional surrender to the true nature of my being which is oneness and interconnectedness with all life. My purpose is to remember that I have been in this sacred space we call the heart from the very beginning.

Tomorrows Another Day

The Dutch island of Curacao is a beautiful island in the southern Caribbean Sea, located off the coast of Venezuela. Curacao boasts that it is the largest and most populous of the three ABC islands of Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao with a land area of 171 square miles and a population of 141, 766 inhabitants. The daily weather forecast is 83 degrees and partly sunny with a gentle breeze floating in off the ocean, making every day in Curacao a perfect day.  I was privileged this past March to spend a week in  Curacao with my husband. Not only is Curacao famous for its spectacular weather, it is also famous for its iguanas. The island and in particular my resort was overrun by iguanas of every size, shape and variation of green you can imagine. The iguana is a type of lizard indigenous to the tropical areas of Central and South America as well as the Caribbean. Unique to the iguana is a dewlap or row of spines that runs down their backs to their tail and a third “eye” on their head. The “third eye” for humans is considered to be a mystical or esoteric term referring to an inner eye or gateway to the inner realms and spaces of higher consciousness.  The iguanas gravitated so frequently to the underside of my beach chair that I finally decided to have my husband snap a picture of the largest one and make him the star of my blog.  I soon understood the synchronicity of the iguana and the “third eye” as the week revealed itself to me. Iguana medicine is about simplification and breakthrough, an interesting combination. How do the two relate you might ask?

I have in fact spent an inordinate amount of time wondering how on any given day I manage to complicate what should have been a very simple interaction or experience.  With the absence of both Internet and phone access in Curacao, I managed to simplify quite a bit despite my best efforts to the contrary.  By the middle of the week, my biggest concern became whether to order the strawberry-banana or the berry-berry smoothie drink swimming up to the pool bar.  As the days progressed and life continued to slow down, besides watching the iguanas go about their business, I found myself contemplating my existence.  I thought about how much time I spend making decisions and working through ALL the variations of a particular drama that might be unfolding for me. How often I limited my perspective of my reality to the point where I am so caught up in the drama, I can see NO way out.  How I need to have EVERYTHING figured out from the get go before I will begin anything.  How I often CREATE obstacles for myself before I even get started.  How I allow setbacks in my life to distract me and keep me STUCK in limited rather than limitless possibilities.

Iguana medicine tells us that with intention and effort we can simplify our lives. Is it really that simple I wonder? Well with clear intention and tenacious perseverance, I managed to fit all of my clothes for a 10-day trip into one medium and one small suitcase!  It wasn’t easy, but I prevailed. There were choices that had to be made such as do I really need a second pair of sandals, a second beach hat, a heavy coat just in case, or even an outfit for every dinner? Ok, so I feel this might be a good time to mention that straight men have it so much easier than women when it comes to packing for a vacation.  My husband spent all of about ten minutes putting his one suitcase together.  Anyway, with a little effort, I managed to weed through and eliminate what I absolutely did not need. It turned out, I probably could have settled for even a few less things.  How could I apply this same process to my daily life I wondered? What could I remove from my “to do” list that was not absolutely necessary?  What could I give away that was cluttering my space?  What friendships were taking up a lot of time, but were not serving me or the other person any longer? What was redundant that I could let go of?  As we continue to weather the storm of this new earth that we are creating, simplification will be the key.  How can we better manage our time and with heartfelt intention let go of what we absolutely do not need?

In planning a project, be sure to break down the details step by step in order to accomplish it successfully. I am inherently and innately a planner.  I honed these skills well for over twenty-five years as a travel agent planning not only my client’s vacations, but my families as well. What I found in my role as a travel agent was that most people became paralyzed when it came to planning their vacations. They perceived the task as overwhelming. I helped them to break things down and see that sometimes looking at a situation in smaller less overwhelming pieces could allow you to complete the task. Sometimes we allow the enormity of an idea or task to weigh us down. We never get there because we never start.  So if you feel like life is just too big at the moment, break it down, create some small changes in your life and eventually these small changes will lead you to some big changes. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing!

This is a good time to take action on something you’ve dreamed about doing or having but had forgotten or dismissed sometime ago because you thought it was unrealistic. For most of us change is not a good thing. We are comfortable with things staying the same even if it is an unhappy situation.  It still is the known vs. the unknown.  I am certainly guilty of that myself.  Change is not safe. But what I have realized is that change is what allows us to grow. Without taking chances, we remain stuck in the muck so to speak.  On my vision board for 2010, I put a picture of a beautiful woman in a two-piece bathing suit visualizing that I would be that women some day.  Now you might be thinking how ridiculous it sounds for me to be talking about a two-piece bathing suit as I relate to taking action on a dream.  Well for me losing weight and showcasing my new body in a two-piece bathing suit in Curacao was a life-changing event. So the point is don’t limit your dreams with your limited perception of what is possible.  Dreams really do come true.  Take action on what you want, put it out into the universe, and then use discernment when the universe sends you back opportunities.  Not every opportunity will support your dream and not every dream turns out exactly the way you intended to.  Ok, so I did not look like Eva Mendes (the  swimsuit model from my vision board) walking down the beach in my two-piece, but I felt really awesome anyway!

Although you’ve had a hard fall recently, you have to get up and keep going. There are no mistakes in life, just opportunities.  Several months ago, I made a difficult transition with my business that had me questioning my direction and life purpose.  In a moment of total defeat, I told the big guys upstairs that I was going back to country club golf, online shopping and long lunches with my friends. I was done with the whole “spiritual” thing as it was all a big mistake. I told them that they must have had the wrong gal. As my glorious week in Curacao began to wind down and I began to regain my balance, I clearly heard the “big guys” say , “Sorry Maria, you can’t go back. Everything has lead you to this point.”  So I picked myself up and moved into a place of surrender and acceptance.  Not easy words for me. We are all going through difficult times right now.  And we all need to know that everything is relevant and nothing is trivial.  We can’t compare our journey to another’s and diminish our own experience in the process. Everything we experience is equally relevant because it encompasses and defines our journey no matter how seemingly small it may seem.  So although when you fall, you do have to get up and keep going, remember that before you move on you need to acknowledge and accept that your seemingly negative experience is all part of the whole that is your journey in this lifetime.  And it too will pass….

Even though you feel mired in the mundane circumstances of your life, make the choice to climb out of them and view them from a different perspective. Edwin was our poolside waiter for the glorious week that we spent in Curacao. My favorite grandfather was named Edward and although Edwin was a tall elderly black gentleman, he reminded me so much of the grandfather that I loved so dearly.  Edwin was the quintessential “no worries” kind of guy that you would expect to find poolside in Curacao. On the second day at our resort as I was just beginning to “let go”, Edwin came over to tell my husband that our $19.00 drink tab did not go through at the register. He suggested that we head up to the front desk to work things out.  My husband said that this was not possible as there was plenty of money in our bank account. Edwin gave him a knowing smile as if he had heard that line a thousand times before and said that he was sure that this was the case, but could my husband still head up to the front desk to work things out. To my husband’s credit he did not even blink.  He simply said to Edwin that he would take care of it. I on the other hand immediately moved into a hysteria equaled only by my response to the weekly calls from my sons boarding school during the “terrible teenage” years called high school.  “What does he mean the charge won’t go through?”  “Oh, my God, what if someone has stolen all of the money out of our account.  What will we do?”  Secretly thinking as the person that manages all of the finances for the household, what if I screwed something up.  Wait a second, as I try to reason things out and the answer comes to me.  When I hurriedly transferred money into my son’s account on my new IPhone before boarding our flight, I must have added several extra zeroes to the amount by accident.  That’s why there is no money in our account.  As my twenty-four year old daughter so kindly inferred the week before, nobody over the age of fifty should be allowed to have an IPhone. Or at least they should have to take some sort of pass/fail test before acquiring. I was beginning to think she was right.  From my perspective the only possibly solution to our problem thousands of miles away from home in a third world country with no money was that we were screwed and worse it was all my fault! My husband recognizing the impending signs of my melt down promptly headed to the front desk to straighten things out.  He returned a short while after saying that everything was ok.  “What do you mean it is ok?  What happened?  Are you sure it is ok?  What did you do?  What did they do?   What if, what if, what if….”.  Finally, my husband said, “Do you really want to know all the details or do you just want to know that it is ok?”  I am savvy enough to know a trick question when I hear it I think to myself.  There really is something wrong and he doesn’t want to ruin our vacation.

Maybe it was the beautiful surroundings or maybe it was the strawberry margarita taking effect, but in that moment clarity came rushing in. I took a deep breath and I realized that I did have a choice in the matter. I could change my perspective and see a different view.  A view in which everything looked beautiful and whole.  So I let go and surrendered to the perfect view.  Strawberry margaritas, dazzling blue ocean, white sandy beaches and warm sunny skies. A few minutes later, Edwin came back to say that the bill had been settled.  He looked directly at me and said “Don’t worry, tomorrow’s another day.” Oh, wow I said as another epiphany flew in. We have so many chances to change our perspective on life.  If we don’t get it right this time, well we have another chance tomorrow.  And the beauty of Curacao and it’s people is for the most part they all believe this to be true.  They are happy, carefree people who seem to love life.  I wondered as another iguana sauntered up and parked himself under my chair: What would life look like if the whole world was filled with people that had limitless perspective?

Toad Medicine from Animal Spirit Guides by Stephen Farmer, PH.D.   If a toad shows up, it means:

• It’s a good time to withdraw into solitude and contemplate emotional or spiritual matters.
• You’ll have an opportunity to review and clear some uncomfortable emotional issues from the past.
• This is an opportunity to contact your most primal, instinctual self-the part of you that’s the seed of any new personal or spiritual growth.
• This is a volatile period of personal change, one where you’ll feel unsettled and fragmented, yet one in which a new “you” will emerge feeling more integrated and whole.
• You have much more available to you in terms of skills, experience, and inner strength than you’re aware of.

Detachment seems to be the new “it” word in the spiritual community of late.  It is certainly a word that I have used often in private and group client sessions over the last six months or so.  “We must acknowledge the drama in our lives, but not be attached to it”.  Becoming the neutral witness to our dramas seems to be the new avant-garde experience as we move toward a shift of consciousness on this planet.  We are all being called to move to a place of transcended awareness that allows us to experience the emotions attached to our daily drama without becoming those same emotions.   So you may wonder, appropriately, how I am going to lead you to the croaking toads.

Recently, I have been dealing with  a significant experience of detachment.  It has been painful, but yet expansive at the same time.  And in this process I have been challenged to move out of a place of rejection.  Like the most diligent of litigation attorneys, I have prepared my case clinging resolutely to the vestiges of my wounded ego.

But alas in the eleventh hour a stay of execution from the universe has mercifully intervened.  As one of my close friends is fond of saying, nobody I know gets as expedient and fun messages from the universe as you do Maria. Usually most of the fun stuff comes off of license plates of cars that are either coming toward me or pulling right out in front of me.  Last year, I authored a chapter in a Soul Coaching book called Soul Whispers II: Secret Alchemy of the Elements in Soul Coaching called As Grace Unfolds. In this chapter I describe how effortlessly fluid life can be when one is able to be present to what the universe has to offer, when one is willing to just let grace unfold.

I decided to take my own advice and on Tuesday morning, I said aloud “Ok, I’m giving it up to you.”  “Show me the way”.   I decided to then pull a card from Denise Linn’s Soul Coaching Deck asking for advice on a particular email that I was about to send.  I pulled the card “grace” and it read, “…kindly honor the reality of others.  Even if you absolutely know that your opinion is right, sometimes its wise not to push your point.  Let it drop.  Its not that important…hear the truth of others without the overlay of your opinions.  Speak with love, kindness, and diplomacy.”  I could feel the energy shift immediately in the room.  I went about sending out an email that would reflect this mantra.  The reply came back full of grace.  Lesson number one:  You get what you give.

I continued my conversation with the universe by moving into a sacred space, my shower.  As I stood there pondering my existence, my stoic countenance begged the question to anyone who might be listening, “Who am I?” The reply can wait for another day but will be relevant to to this story shortly.  A friend of mine was packing for her impending move off Cape, so I headed over to her house to say goodbye. Our goodbye turned into a three-hour epic conversation about changing the world. As we continued to talk and I casually glanced at my watch, I realized that two hours into our conversation a question was formulating.  The question  in response to both of us wondering how we could find our way out of our seemingly stuck positions was  “Do you want to dance?”  Are you willing to move?   Funny given the fact that my friend was indeed physically moving. We never really answered the question, but it felt like a “yes”.

Wednesday morning, I asked the universe again to help me out and give me a hint of what was in store for me.  “What do I need to know today?”  “Believe” was the card that I pulled.   “…Have faith in magic and miracles.  If you can believe it you can conceive it…. expectations can act in both negative and positive ways, and your fixed thoughts and opinions about yourself have created your world and your experiences.”  That brings me to the beautiful Eliza, a messenger of universal proportion, aka, my yoga instructor.  She is not only beautiful on the outside, but she is beautiful on the inside as well.   She begins every yoga class with an intention.  Wednesday evening her intention was centered on an invitation to dance.  I smiled.  She asked us if we would be willing to move from a position of rigidity.  Could we further take this intention into our yoga practice that evening?  Ok, so now I was beginning to feel like I was in the flow of things both physically and energetically.   Not surprisingly she ended our amazing yoga class with a brief recital that begged the question, “Who are you?”   I smiled for the second time that evening.   Heading home, again I could once more feel the energy shifting.  I was launched into an evening of amazingly healing dreams, waking up even more expanded then the day before.  Lesson number two: when you are stuck, it only takes a small shift to create a more fluid awareness of self.  Sometimes it is just our perception that ails us.

Thursday morning refreshed and ready to face the new day with a new perspective, I decide to pull another card just for good measure.  “Voyage” was the message for the day.  “A journey is coming.  Rather than staying in a safe harbor, let your sails unfurl to the wind.  The universe absolutely knows cherishes and protects you as you ride the currents of your life.  Your life is a spiritual voyage and it isn’t always what it seems…. there have been no wrong turns…every adventure and misadventure was part of the course.  Even when you are sailing through dark waters and stormy seas, if you will allow yourself to feel it you’ll know that you are always seen, cherished and loved by the universe.”   Lesson number three: embrace everything seen and unseen.  Acknowledge that both the significant and seemingly insignificant things play an equally important role in our lives.  Resolve to the fact that there are so many layers available for healing, if we are open to be vulnerable and explore.

So today, Friday, my card says “Awakening”.  “It’s time to wake up!  Step out of you’re routine and notice what is truly occurring around you…Awaken your potential and power-move, shake and take action…” It’s 9:30am and Eliza has prepared another intention to get us started with yoga this morning.  She has asked us to consider the “croaking toad” as a metaphor for that little voice in our head whispering sweet nothings filled with everything that limits us in our lives.  This morning’s class was all about shaking things up, twisting and turning, and pushing us outside of our comfort zone.  Eliza challenged us to participate fully and release those limited beliefs of self.  But wait, didn’t I hear this already this morning?  I nod my head and smile as if to say I am up for the challenge, whatever that means.  Moving fairly fluidly through the vinyasa moves for most of the class, I hear Eliza ask us to consider moving into the Crane pose. Uh-oh.  The crane pose involves balancing your legs on your elbows and for those of us overachieving athletic types usually requires a crash helmet. Ok I can do this I said to myself even though I have tried repeatedly to do this move with little success. Eliza suggests that we use a block to squat on while attempting this pose.  Great I think, now I have farther to fall.  I get up on the blocks, Eliza woos me with her patient smile and magically it happens, just for a nanosecond, but it happens.  I have found a place of balance.  I realize it only takes a second in this pose to shift my perception of what is possible. Ok so now the universe is moving in for the kill.  A big part of my experience this week was about my claiming myself fully into the universe with no guilt, no qualifiers and no excuses. Eliza finishes off class this morning with Marianne Williamson’s Our Deepest Fear.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

So now I am heading home from yoga class buzzing like a hornet’s nest that has just been accidently disturbed.   Wow what has just happened?  How did all of this unfold in less than a week?  I call my girlfriend, the one who comments often about how lucky I am that the universe always gives me such great props.  I tell her about all of the amazing synchronicities that have occurred this week after surrendering to the universe.  I say that I think I’ve got it.  If I can consider releasing some of those limiting believes of self acquired over many life times, I just might have a fighting chance.  As I am saying those words, I look up and the car coming toward me has a license plate that reads “ouch”.  I smile into the phone and say you are not going to believe this…   Lesson number four: nobody ever said it was going to be easy.

So the next time you hear those “croaking toads”, consider that the problem whatever it is, is not the problem.  The problem is the resistance to the problem.  If you can get past the resistance, the “croaking toad” may just lead you to your next best thing.

Prior to the trip, predictably I complained to my husband that I didn’t know how I was possibly going to be able  give up five days of my time to just “do nothing” when my “to do” list seemed to be exponentially expanding with every passing day.  Eventually, however I did acquiesce making a mental note to self that guilty pleasure is an oxymoron.  Shortly, after arriving at the resort, acquiescence turned into “quiescence”.  Yes, I said quiescence and I’ll tell you why.  And for those of you wondering “quiescence” is definitely a word, and quite an intriguing one at that.

I discovered the word quiescence while reading Leslie Temple-Thurston’s book   Marriage of Spirit.  Leslie refers to quiescence as an “ascended state” in duality consciousness. It is a state in which you observe your life experience from a place of neutrality recognizing your limited patterns or beliefs as just that, rather than getting caught up in the emotional drama of the same.   In fluid mechanics quiescence is the state of a fluid that lacks any movement.   In behavioral neuroscience/zoology, quiescence states that an animal is vigilant but relaxed and immobile.   In volcanolgy, quiescence refers to an active volcano when it is not erupting.  In computer science, acquiescence equals a data item that is not actively being charged.  So you get the idea.  It is all about the being rather than the doing. 

One of the opportunities that helped me to experience quiescence during my stay at the beautiful Sea Island Resort was my daily visits to the Koi Pond.  The fish were mesmerizing.  The Japanese recognize the Koi for their beauty, but also for their ability to transform the observer into other worldly states of perception.  The Japanese believe that these  altered states of perception ultimately lead to the attraction of higher energy and that this can manifest in the form of prosperity of all kinds in our lives.

My daily experience with the Koi offered me the opportunity to alter my perceptions of  my own  guilt associated with doing nothing.  During these visits, I allowed myself to sit in complete silence and just observe with no guilt, and  no apprehension of what I should be doing at that moment.  I was in the flow…  I was fluid without movement.   What an amazing concept.  Fluid without movement, active without erupting, vigilant but relaxed.   I am reminded of one of my favorite author’s Oriah and her words in The Dance:

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be…someday.  Show me you can risk being completely at peace, truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment and again in the next and the next and the next….

As the weekend progressed and I became more fluid, I learned that going with the flow means taking responsibility for my own experiences.  Is it my should?  Who says I should? Why should I?   

I learned that “creating busy”  becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  The more you tell yourself that you are busy, the busier you become.  I learned once again that perception is everything.

Ultimately, what is doing all about anyway?  It is about justifying my existence to the world. After all, the busier I am the more necessary I become.   Ultimately, I am projecting my sense of not good enough on the rest of the world because maybe it is just too painful to sit in the present and just be.

 I recently just completed my Soul Mission Collage for 2011. Conspicuously in the “house of preparation” section of the board, I have placed a picture of a woman sitting on a dock with the caption “doing nothing”.  The idea of the Soul Mission Collage is that you don’t know the relevance of placement  of pictures and words until you have completed the board. This part of the vision board is  about what needs to be nurtured within me at this time. What is my inner voice telling me regarding my life at this time?  Funny how I just noticed in this moment that right below this picture, I have placed the words “sow the love”.  Wow, so in this moment I get it.  It’s 4:33am on New Years Day 2011 and I get it!   How profound….don’t you just love the way the Universe works?  Learning how to just do nothing is all about loving me.   So no wonder I am always fighting “just doing nothing”.

Under Inspired Ideas on this site you will find my new book Soul Whispers II: Secret Alchemy of the Elements in Soul Coaching. This new book, which is due out in October, is an anthology of stories written by soul coaches around the world. My chapter is called As Grace Unfolds and it is my own personal story of how I transitioned into a life where “being present” became a conscious choice. I describe how a major life transition followed by a debilitating illness forced me to surrender the need to always be in control.

Fortunately, as I recovered from this illness, I chose for the most part to view my life from a more expansive perspective. As a parent of a 20-year-old son and a 23-year-old daughter, this transition has not always been easy. Consciously choosing to be present in my life has allowed me to see that the universe is constantly providing “breadcrumbs” to guide me on my spiritual path.

Recently, I have observed that the universe in its infinite wisdom has been giving me a huge message centered on “finding happiness”. The first set of breadcrumbs synchronistically introduced me to Louise Laffey, creator of an amazing new energy game called The Wish™. The Wish™ Game helps people remove blocks that keep them from living their happiest lives. In a very short time after answering a call for soul coaches that might be interested in the game, I became one of two facilitators for The Wish™ Game as it debuted in the United States. This has been a great opportunity for me to further examine my happiness as I regularly coach my clients to examine theirs.

As the second set of breadcrumbs scattered themselves before me, during a very intense conversation with my oh so wise sage of a son (just turned twenty), I had yet another enlightening message from the universe. At the end of what turned out to be a life changing conversation, my son from a place of total love told me that he had never really seen me happy and that I should go out into the world and find happiness. What? Me find happiness. But of course I’m happy, how could I not be as I am leading this comparatively charmed life. As if to confirm his observation the next morning I woke up to my daily message from Notes from the Universe, and guess what the message was?

“Young souls learn to accept responsibility for their actions. Mature souls learn to accept responsibility for their thoughts. And old souls, Maria, learn to accept responsibility for their happiness. Weeeeeee The Universe”

Ok I think I can take a hint. How about one more? The following week while celebrating my son’s birthday, my daughter gave me a belated birthday gift in the form of a book. You can probably guess what’s coming next; the book was titled The Happiness Project.

So guess what else happens when you’ re paying attention? You notice that perfect strangers can also provide you with universal messages. I was just beginning to think that I was in total control of the “happiness” thing when guess what, I had a really crappy day! So I am pumping gas into my car, consumed with doom and gloom, when a gas station attendant (one of those people you are sure are an Angel in disguise) comes over and stands right next me. As I did not immediately recognize him as an employee of the gas station, I became somewhat apprehensive. Although at that moment I was ready to take anybody on. He looks at me and says, “Someone does not look happy. What is it that you have to be so unhappy about?” “Good question”, I said, “I really don’t know”. Now this guy, he had to walk quite a distance to find me on the far end of this gas station complex. Coincidence, I think not.

So here’s the point, when you set the intention to be aware of what the universe in its infinite wisdom has to teach you, you give yourself a chance. Clearly what I am learning about happiness is that the only thing keeping me from being happy is me. If I want to be happy, all I have to do is change my perspective or change my mind. If you want to be happy, then just create it for yourself. Go out and live your happiest life! It is just that simple.

Maria